Here we go, fellas.
Arsene Wenger’s dictatorial stint at the Emirates looks set to continue with reports suggesting that he has agreed to sign a new two-year deal with the club. According to tabloids, Wenger is looking forward to a fresh challenge in the Europa League but though breaking FA Cup records will continue to be his primary aim!
Sarcasm apart, this news comes as no surprise, given that Wenger continues to enjoy a positive relationship with majority shareholder, Stan Kroenke – a relationship that seems unaffected by the impending absence of Champions League football. For the Wenger Out (read = Arsenal Fan TV) camp, this effectively ends their hopes of seeing the Frenchman leave, for at least 24 more months.
Naturally, we felt like it would be an astute time to dig into Wenger’s good old diary and revive some of the classic quotes that have defined his entire career in the Premier League. And we’ll kick things off with a timeless dig that was aimed at none other than his greatest nemesis – Sir Alex Ferguson.
“Everyone thinks they have the prettiest wife at home.“ – This was back in 2002 when Wenger took a direct dig at Sir Alex, who had earlier criticised Arsenal’s squad
“Despite the global warming, England is still not warm enough for him.” – Wenger dropped this bomb when Jose Antonio Reyes sealed a return to Spain after failing to adjust to life in London.
“I watched it when I got home and it looked very bad. You ask 100 people, 99 will say it’s very bad and the hundredth will be Mark Hughes.” – Man City’s Adebayor dangerously tackled Robin van Persie during a game and Wenger left no stones unturned at the post-match presser.
“I didn’t know the English were good at swimming. I have been in this country for 12 years and I haven’t seen a swimming pool.” – Team Great Britain did brilliantly at the Olympic Games in 2012, winning a grand total of 65 medals. But this was all Wenger could say about them.
“We were considering him [Ruud van Nistelrooy] and Francis Jeffers and, in the end, we went for Jeffers.” – Wenger drilling the nail into his own coffin by claiming that he saw more potential in Jeffers compared to Nistelrooy. One went on to be a great goalscorer with United. The other went on to fail a trial with Brunei DPMM FC.
“Maybe people will be surprised that I have signed an Englishman but I looked at his quality and not his passport. Francis is a ‘fox in the box.” – Wenger was clearly a believer of positive affirmation.
“He [Ruud van Nistelrooy] can only cheat.” – When you try so hard but you don’t succeed
“You have to be a masochist to be an international manager.” – Wenger is clearly not a fan of international football. But given how fans feel about him at this juncture, maybe you’ve got to be a masochist to be an Arsenal manager too?
“If you eat caviar every day it’s difficult to return to sausages.” – Wenger making perfect sense back in 1998, when Arsenal fans booed their team after a 1-1 draw against Middlesbrough. It seems like the fans are getting used to sausages now.
“As long as no-one scored, it was always going to be close.” – Wenger’s constant knack for being a Captain Obvious peaked at this very moment.
“It’s like you wanting to marry Miss World and she doesn’t want you. I can try to help you but if she does not want to marry you what can I do?” – Wenger was really heartbroken by Reyes’ decision to leave eh?
“I don’t kick dressing room doors or the cat or even football journalists.” – Way to go with the passive aggressive threat, Mr Wenger!
“They have my credit card number, and we will say ‘how much do you need this week? Let’s do it.” – When he ran into trouble with the FA for the 36552th time.
“What’s really dreadful is the diet in Britain. The whole day you drink tea with milk and coffee with milk and cakes. If you had a fantasy world of what you shouldn’t eat in sport, it’s what you eat here.” – When he took a direct jab at the people in his adopted home.
“My secret is adapting to the country I am in. Here I eat roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. There are people who visit different countries and don’t adapt. It is a must.” – before going on to concede defeat after falling in love with Yorkshire pudding.
“The penalty decision was Old Traffordish.” – Those were the days when Wenger hadn’t heard of a thesaurus.
“When you’re dealing with someone who only has a pair of underpants on, if you take his underpants off, he has nothing left – he’s naked. You’re better off trying to find him a pair of trousers to complement him rather than change him.” – I’m sure it must have been difficult to think of a different analogy to describe the process of dealing with different personalities in football.
“I do not think about the national team too much because footballistically it is not of too much interest.” – Another thesaurus-related joke for the road, folks!
“It is a big surprise to me because he cancelled his contract to go abroad. Have you sold Portsmouth to a foreign country?” – That one time when someone from North London was bitter about Portsmouth!
“No. Perhaps he sent it by horse.” – When quizzed on whether Fergie had apologised for something he previously said. This was probably the highlight of his relationship with Sir Alex!