WARNING: This is a satire
It hasn’t been a memorable tournament for Portugal and Cristiano Ronaldo, has it?
Days after they were held to a 1-1 draw by a country with only 363,000 people in it, Portugal played another draw, this time 0-0, against Austria last night. But the frustration was amplified by the fact that they missed countless opportunities to break the deadlock, including a spot-kick, which Ronaldo could only fire against the post.
After the match, the Real Madrid star looked visibly distraught, as he launched yet another tirade, bringing up the theory of ‘small mentality’ for the second time in this tournament.
“The goal-post has a small mentality. The way it just stood there and stared at us back at the end of the game, it almost felt like it won the Euros or something. It was unbelievable,” he was quoted as saying.
“When it tries not to play and just stands there upright, it clearly has a small mentality. It’s frustrating. We tried everything to win this game, the goal-post did not do anything!
“It blocked us from scoring a goal, stood there for 90 minutes and held the f****** net together – that’s the only thing it did! It’s difficult when you have two teams trying to play football and the goal-post just blocks us.
“The worst-part? I tried to cool things off by offering by shirt at the end of the game. It just stood there and stared back at me. Arrogance at its finest!,” he added.
Ronaldo’s penalty miss wasn’t the only incident involving the goal-post. Nani could have also scored for Portugal, had it not been for the goal-post’s ultra-defensive approach.
Either way, Portugal will have to now switch their attention to their final group stage match against Hungary, where they’ll be hoping to not be held back by ‘small mentalities’.
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